....

 

I just want it to end.

i just want to know, whats goin' on.

whats wrong?
with me. with you?
dont wanna fall back,
dont wanna be hurt.
but you do it all the time.

 

ame.

 

 

too much is happen.

too much is happen.
too much is going on in my head.
too much I must think about things, I don't wanna think about.
too much is happening everyday, just in my mind.
I am confused. I am happy. I am sad. I am different every second, minute oder day.
Just want it to be over. Just want it to be normal.
I I know, that it's gonna be normal. one day. Its gonna be over, and i'll be happy.
I know.

ame.

wheres the light to my shadow?

ame.

fuckin confused

I am fuckin confused now.
at night I lay in bed, crying. Don't know why. I lay there scratching myself
I lay there biting myself and just want it to end. Why does my fuckin mind do all these terrible things to me? What I've done to be such an weirdo.
I thought that it was gone. But i never should believe that's ever gonna be over. Theres just a song, just a word, just a sign and Its back. My Monster. My horrifying Monster. Myself.
The past has create these scars, has create these tears, which are overcoming tonight.
I don't want such a broken Person. But what should I do?
It doesn't get better.
I don't know what I should feel. My heart wont stop swelling.. I don't know how to call this. I forgot how to feel. I forgot so much.
I just hope, that'll get better. That I am not proceed with these shitty things... but Its so hard to stop it, when my Monster is saying: do it! You'll feel better.
Because I DONT FELL BETTER. just a few seconds after it.
I just want this to end.

ame.

sorry for being absent

sorry, that i've been absent so Long.
I decided to write my Posts in english.
My life has changend a Little now. Im happier than before. And I think this is a really good attitude for life now. It isn't happend so much, but you're chaning all the time, even if you don't notice it.
I met someone Long time ago. It must be almost a year, but we never really talked with each other.
But now, were coming closer. I don't know what I really think about him, however I like him.
I hope that I soon realize whats going on in my head.

ame.

new blood

just some creepy photos. have fun.
ame.